AEW Dynamite Report: CM Punk and MJF verbally spar, Battle of the Belts confirmed for 1/8

John Siino reviews the Thanksgiving Eve edition of Dynamite featuring CM Punk and MJF's promo battle, Thunder Rosa advances, and lots more.

Photo Courtesy: All Elite Wrestling

AEW Dynamite – “Thanksgiving”
November 24th, 2021

By: John Siino

Wintrust Arena in Chicago, IL

Commentary: Jim Ross, Tony Schiavone & Excalibur

PG Punk & My Jealous Fan

CM Punk starts the show coming out to a huge reaction, but MJF music hits instead of QT Marshall as he makes his way to the ring to an ‘Asshole’ chant and boos. MJF tells Punk that it doesn’t feel good being interrupted and calls him ‘Punky Brewster’ as the crowd starts chanting ‘shut the fuck up’, in which he says ‘no’. MJF continues saying Punk hurt his feelings last week when he extended out his hand like a gentleman and it was almost as bad as the time Punk quit, took his ball, and went home like a little bitch. MJF says the Pipe Bomb was great and everybody loves it, calls it legendary and a ‘great promo’. MJF says the Pipe Bomb is Punk’s best moment, but every MJF moment is the best MJF moment. And unlike Punk, MJF isn’t a one-trick pony. MJF respects Punk and everything he’s done, even him being straight edge but never in his wildest dreams could he imagine a straight edge looking so much like a meth addict and it must be extremely difficult being straight edge with Punk’s face as he would have to down 8 shots of whiskey when he looks at himself in the mirror. MJF brings up Punk’s interviews where he’s asked who he would like to wrestle in AEW, and he would never everybody except MJF. MJF says it’s because Punk ‘ain’t want none’ and his entire career Punk has been ‘big fish in a small pond’ on the mic but not here, and now he is going to verbally finish Punk quicker than his UFC career. MJF says Punk can drop cute little pipe bombs all he wants, but MJF drops nukes and it’s not clobbering time but ‘out of time’.

Punk finally grabs a microphone as the crowd chants for him and says he’s so disappointed in MJF. CM Punk thanked MJF for last week, for introducing himself like a proper young man to his elders and didn’t know his name was Maxwell and thought MJF stood for My Jealous Fan. Punk says MJF is hung up on the fact that Punk never brought his name up and he did it by design to not feed his ego. He is in MJF’s head possibly because MJF has a CM Punk poster on his wall and last week he did something nobody has ever been able to do and that is shut up MJF without saying a word. He continues that MJF had 7 days to think of good zingers and came out with the lowest hanging fruit and calls MJF a ‘less famous Miz’.

MJF comes back and says that was solid and creative stuff and it was almost what he wanted, and that perfectly describes Punk’s entire run here so far. As he’s trying to finish his sentence the crowd chants ‘Miz’, but he says nostalgia is a drug that causes us to misconstrue our memories and Punk is no more than nostalgia. He admits he was a fan of Punk as he was the best, or so he thought because ever since Punk returned, he’s struggled in the ring and said anything little of intrigue. MJF says Punk’s breath smells like shit because he’s been kissing ass so much. MJF then imitates Punk acting like a robot with his ‘insert’ the name of the town, company, and opponent. MJF calls Punk soft, his hair is going gray, and judging by his eyes, Punk is the one who needs to go to sleep. MJF says this is no longer CM Punk, it is now PG Punk. MJF asks what happened to the man he grows up on and says he might as well come out and preach ‘hustle, loyalty, and respect’. Except the problem is he ‘can see him’ and can see through Punk and says Punk claimed he’d come back for a boatload of money and stayed on his couch for seven long years. MJF questioned if Punk was too busy making comics nobody read and movies nobody saw or was it because Punk was terrified that he couldn’t hang anymore or even in the first place. MJF says he’s here to tell Punk that he should be scared, in the other company they treated Punk like a cult hero and now he has the opportunity to prove these people right but questions if he can, before surveying the crowd. MJF says he’s glad they feel like that now but will they in a month or two, and ‘PG Punk’ envies MJF because MJF is everything that Punk hates because he was born for this as a clean-cut professional while Punk was a scrawny tatted misfit from the dumpiest part of the Midwest called Chicago. Punk had to work his tail off, but he knows what eats him up inside it’s the fact that after all his hard work and sacrifice, deep down Punk knows his entire career he’s been second best. Whether it was the ‘You Can’t See Me Man’, or the ‘King of Kings’. And now that Punk is standing in MJF’s ring, things will be no different and even though Punk might claim to be the best in the world, MJF is better than him and he knows it.

Punk says there’s some truth to what MJF says, he might be scared a little bit and he won’t lie to these people. He didn’t know if these people would care and didn’t know if he still had it, but he’s not scared any longer and certainly not of MJF. The timing might not match up, but he was selling out MSG while MJF was marking out for Rosie O’Donnell. And last time MJF did a song and dance he made the New York Times, and now he will do it again but this time in the obituaries because he just enrolled himself into a college his parents can’t afford. MJF talks too much but he can’t back up shit without his backup and names all the members of The Pinnacle. Punk looked at AEW because that was the place where he would test himself and he went after the heart and soul in Darby Allin. MJF is so busy talking about how he is the most powerful of the four pillars that he doesn’t even realize he’s been replaced by Britt Baker. And while he thinks MJF has made some good points he talks too much and they have wasted these people’s time. Chicago is not called the Second City because it’s number two, it’s because it was built back up from the fire. Punk says the only way MJF will be number one is if they wait long enough for Tony Khan to have a daughter for him to marry. The last time Punk was there he gave everybody free ice cream bars and the only thing better than that is punching MJF in his little needle dick right now. They start undressing and get ready to fight but MJF escapes out of the ring.

CM Punk vs. QT Marshall (w/ Aaron Solo & Nick Comoroto)

Marshall starts the match talking trash as they lock up with Punk easily taking control with scoop slams as Solo and Comoroto try to distract Punk from the outside. Comoroto goes to grab the leg of Punk as the referee catches them and ejects them with the crowd singing the ‘Goodbye’ song as a result. As soon as QT comes back in, he gets body slammed once again, but he comes back with a couple of punches and corners Punk with more forearms. Punk comes back and whips QT in the corner, but QT quickly comes back. Punk is able to clothesline QT to the outside and meet him with a flying clothesline off the apron as they go to commercial.

When we come back, QT is working on the neck of Punk and hits him with an uppercut and a sit-out powerbomb for a two-count. As the crowd tries to get behind Punk, QT curses out the fans and starts talking trash to Punk, who comes back with a kick to the head shutting QT up and knocking him down. Punk hits a running knee strike to the corner, a short-armed clothesline and goes up to the top for his flying elbow drop as Jim Ross says, ‘the savagery is back’. Punk motions for Go To Sleep, before delivering it for the pin.

Winner: CM Punk by pinfall at 11:07

Ton of Momentum

Tony Schiavone is backstage with Jungle Boy, Luchasaurus & Christian Cage. Christian says they have a ton of momentum, and it feels good, and when you have that your confidence grows to the point where you feel unbeatable. And when you feel that way, good things happen like today he found out that Luchasaurus and Jungle Boy are #1 ranked tag team and their difference now is that they have Christian Cage, and he will make sure they win the tag team championships.

Coffee Kingston

Eddie Kingston is in catering and says that he misses Jon Moxley and gets quickly interrupted by 2point0 and Daniel Garcia. They said they read the article on him and say that it feels like he’s happy and full, but Eddie isn’t hungry anymore and that’s the kiss of death for a fighter. They are here to help him, but Kingston gets mad when they say he couldn’t help his friend Moxley as they toss coffee in his face. This causes Kingston to start tossing the table around and want to fight them as Jim Ross asks where Tony Garea is.

Gunn Club (Billy Gunn & Colten Gunn) (w/ Austin Gunn) vs. Bear Country (Bear Boulder & Bear Bronson)

The Gunn Club attacks Bear Country before the match as Billy and Boulder officially start the match. On the outside, Austin helps his dad as they toss Boulder shoulder first into the steel steps. Back inside, Bronson and Colten go at it with Bronson catching Colten for an over-the-shoulder suplex before knocking Billy off the apron. Austin trips up Bronson as Colten hits the Colt 45 on Bronson for the pin.

Winners: Gunn Club (Billy Gunn & Colten Gunn) by pinfall at 1:35

As they are celebrating, Sting comes out to Darby Allin’s music. Austin rushes the stage to attack him but gets knocked down by Darby. Darby and Sting go to the ring and chase off Billy and Colten.

Battle of the Belts

We see a promo for Saturday, January 8th with the AEW Battle of the Belts show on TNT from Charlotte, NC at the Bojangles Coliseum.

Where’s Trent?

Adam Cole and Bobby Fish are backstage and say these last couple of weeks have sucked and the Young Bucks still aren’t cleared. And they are more than just partners, they are friends and family. Chuck Taylor, Orange Cassidy, and Wheeler Yuta come in and say their team is literally ‘Best Friends’, and Cole says it should be ‘best friend’ and ‘where’s Trent?’ and says that Orange and Yuta can’t be as good as friends of theirs and asks what Yuta’s middle name is and they are tired of being disrespected and will be glad to shut them up before telling Brandon Cutler to turn the camera off.

Dante Rushes to Sign

We see Tony Schiavone in a boardroom with Team Taz, Lio Rush and Dante Martin as Rush and Martin are looking over the contract Taz gave them and question why Rush is even in the room for. Rush and Taz start going back and forth but Taz says it’s simply business and tells Dante to do his thing. Rush says they don’t want to be a part of this, but Dante stops him and goes and signs the contract, takes a snack from Hook, and leaves with them.

AEW TBS Title Tournament Quarter Final Match: Thunder Rosa vs. Jamie Hayter (w/ Dr. Britt Baker DMD & Rebel)

Before the match, they show a promo from Britt Baker where says soon enough there will be two champions in their camp with Hayter joining her as TBS Champion. The winner of this will meet Jade Cargill in the semi-finals. After some scuffling, Rosa gets tossed to the outside but whips Hayter into the barricade as they fight on the apron and outside. Rosa chops Hayter before throwing her back inside. Hayter takes control stomping Rosa out, but Rosa comes back and corners Hayter on the ropes. Hayter comes back and chokes Rosa on the ropes, before getting tripped up on the other side where Rosa dropkicks Hayter’s back, jumps on her and takes her back outside where she tosses her against the barricade again. Rosa goes back in and fires up to hit a basement dropkick on Hayter before suplexing her on the outside. Rosa jumps off the apron, but Hayter catches her and rams her against the ring post as we go to commercial

When we come back, they are on the top rope, but Rosa knocks Hayter down and hits a missile dropkick knocking her into the corner. Rosa hits a low dropkick to Hayter and drags her to the center where she gets a two-count. Hayter comes back with a backbreaker for a two. They start trading shots, but Rosa escapes a suplex attempt, into a Russian leg sweep and the Peruvian Necktie. As Rebel is distracting the referee, Britt Baker comes in, but accidentely superkicks Hayter. Rosa tosses Baker into Rebel and rolls up Hayter for the pin.

Winner: Thunder Rosa by pinfall at 10:37, to advance

Sponge Matt Square Head

Alex Marvez is backstage with Chris Jericho and asks him what’s next. Jericho says tonight it’s Thanksgiving Eve and gets interrupted by 2point0 and Daniel Garcia. Jericho says instead of bragging about throwing coffee in Eddie Kingston’s face they should prepare for the beating from Eddie Kingston and says Matt Lee has a square head and looks like SpongeBob. They walk off and tell Jericho to watch his mouth.

Friendsgiving

Britt Baker is backstage with Tony Schiavone and Rebel celebrating their ‘Friendsgiving’ with turkey and a table of food and says this didn’t go as planned but with everything that’s gone wrong today there’s one thing that’s still right and that is her being the AEW Women’s Champion. Schiavone says he loves them, but he has bad news for them and shows the Casino Battle Royale from All Out where it shows Riho was never eliminated and makes a ‘Black Friday Deal’ match with Riho vs. Britt Baker on Black Friday Rampage and if Riho wins she’ll get a title shot. Baker is upset and says Tony ruined Halloween, Thanksgiving and now won’t be invited for Christmas. She ends by getting upset at who put ice in the red wine.

Bryan Danielson vs. Colt Cabana

They both get a big reaction as they go right to the mat with submission as Excalibur brings up their history and ‘Wrestling Road Diaries’. Danielson gets a cheap shot after the break and gets booed. They continue working on submission, until Danielson works on Cabana’s legs with kicks. They start trading chops until Danielson brings Cabana on his knees and starts kicking him. The crowd keeps booing Danielson and starts chanting for Colt Cabana. Danielson teases the crowd before missing a running kick in the corner. Cabana comes back with chops and punches before knocking Danielson down with the bionic elbow. Danielson counters the Flying Apple and hits a German Suplex followed by a dropkick in the corner. Danielson keeps Cabana in the corner with chops and kicks before taking him up on the top rope. Cabana is able to fight him off, knocking Danielson down, hitting a top rope moonsault for a two count. Cabana misses a clothesline, as Danielson traps him on the mat and delivers kicks to the face, flexes for the camera and right into the LeBell Lock for the submission.

Winner: Bryan Danielson by submission at 5:09

Coward Shit

When we come back from the commercial, Tony Schiavone is in the ring with Bryan Danielson and says he hasn’t been making many friends lately. Danielson says that’s funny because when he debuted here, he got a much different reaction, calling the crowd fickle and saying not only did he kick Cabana’s head off but his tooth as he shows Cabana’s tooth. He says next week they will be in Atlanta, and there are a couple Dark Order members from there so he’ll challenge any of them. He starts talking about his eventual match with Hangman Adam Page, which prompts Page to head to the ring. Page says Danielson kicked Cabana’s head like he said he would but now they are in Chicago and this building holds a special place in his heart and he can’t think of a better place or time than right there and right now. Danielson says of course Page would say that after he already wrestled a match and to him that’s not Cowboy Shit, that’s Coward Shit. Page says if he doesn’t want to do it right now, that’s fine but he’s not leaving Chicago without a match, and he’ll even give Danielson the first shot as he puts the mic down and puts his hands behind his back. Danielson tells him not to insult him like that before delivering a slap as they start brawling. Page goes for the Buckshot Lariat, but Danielson escapes out the ring.

Black Friday Rampage 

  • Daniel Garcia vs. Eddie Kingston
  • Black Friday Deal Match: Dr. Britt Baker vs. Riho (if Riho wins, she gets an AEW Women’s Championship match)
  • Orange Cassidy & Wheeler Yuta vs. Adam Cole & Bobby Fish

They show a video package for Kris Statlander vs. Ruby Soho and their upcoming TBS Title Tournament match which will be next week on Dynamite. They also state Tony Khan will announce more matches for next week’s Dynamite on Black Friday Rampage.

Malakai Black, FTR (Dax Harwood & Cash Wheeler) & Andrade El Idolo (w/ Tully Blanchard & Jose the Assistant) vs. Death Triangle (Penta El Zero Miedo, Rey Fenix & Pac) & Cody Rhodes (w/ Alex Abrahantes & Arn Anderson)

Crowd starts chanting for Penta and booing Cody as Cody and Harwood start the match. Harwood corners Cody, before Cody tells him to back it up. Cody runs the ropes and knocks Harwood down with a shoulder tackle as Jim Ross questions what kind of reaction Cody might get next week in his home state of Georgia. Harwood catches Cody and tries a springboard suplex, but Cody escapes out and hits a power slam on Harwood before taking his belt off and throwing it in the crowd. Pac tags in as the crowd tells the person who caught Cody’s belt to throw it back in ala John Cena at ECW One Night Stand. The fan does and Andrade grabs it and tosses it under the ring. Harwood hits a back suplex on Pac before tagging in Cash Wheeler. The belt gets tossed back over to Cody who buckles it back on looking embarrassed. Andrade and Penta tag in and trade pin attempts before Andrade tries to slam Penta, who tags out to Rey Fenix. Fenix quickly starts drop kicking Andrade and tags in Penta as all three members of Death Triangle deliver kicks to Andrade for a two count. Cody tags himself in, to a chorus of boos, which turn into cheers as the heels start ganging up on him. Cody tags out to Fenix who starts attacking all his opponents including using Malakai to springboard off the ropes to hit a hurricanrana on Andrade. Tully tries to interfere, which causes Malakai to take control in the corner as they go to commercial.

When we come back, Andrade’s pants are magically missing as he goes on the attack on Penta. Penta counters back with a backstabber for a two count. Pac comes in and dives onto Malakai and Andrade on the outside. They all start delivering moves to each other ending with Malakai and Fenix fighting, but Cody runs in and attacks Malakai. Cody goes to kick Andrade, but superkicks Pac instead. Andrade runs to Pac but gets tossed with an over-the-head suplex into the ropes. Arn Anderson and Tully Blanchard both enter the ring and face off, but Jose interrupts just to get tossed to the outside where he gets taken out by Abrahantes. FTR comes in to help Tully but gets taken out by the Lucha Bros. Pac goes to the top rope but gets sprayed in the face by Malakai Black. Andrade capitalizes and hits his El Idolo DDT on Pac for the pin and the win.

Winners: Andrade El Idolo, Malakai Black & FTR (Dax Harwood & Cash Wheeler) by pinfall at 16:12

About John Siino 415 Articles
New York native and reporter at POST Wrestling. He is also Associate Producer at POISONRANA, co-host of 'Collision Course' and the host of the 'Shot in the Dark' podcast.